A Very Twisted View of Women and Sex

Throughout the world, there are many different views on women and sex in many different societies. In countries where Islam is the predominant religion, girls and women are taught to be modest and that they must wait till they are married before having sex, and premarital sex is considered to be very sinful. On the opposite end of the spectrum is the Kreung tribe in rural Cambodia, where fathers build their daughters their very own “love huts,” to encourage their teenage daughters to become empowered by exploring their sexuality by inviting young men of their choice to their huts and privately getting to know them and having sex with them (Mail Online).

In Western cultures, however, society often contradicts itself when it comes to women and sex. As girls, women are taught that we should not have sex until we’re married and ready for children. But as teenage girls, we are told a completely different thing, not by our parents, but by each other and by society. We are told in sometimes subtle and sometimes not-so-subtle ways that we have to try to be sexy for our male classmates and that we should have sex with them for fun, otherwise we’re “prudes” or “lame” or “unwanted.” This applies not only to teenage girls but also to women as a whole, especially in America. The popular view today seems to be that if a woman won’t have sex or hasn’t had sex yet, she’s a prude. If she has sex and uses birth control, she’s a whore. If she has sex and doesn’t use birth control, but gets pregnant and has an abortion, she’s a baby-murderer, and if she keeps the baby, she’s irresponsible for having a baby that most assume she can’t raise properly, because she’s a whore. Either way, women lose. She’s either a prude or a whore, but one thing is for sure: in the end, she should get married and have children.

America’s view of women and sex should be more like the view of the Kreung tribe. I’m not saying that we should encourage our thirteen year old daughters to have sex with boys that they barely even know, but we should see sex how people in the Kreung tribe see it, as is a sacred thing that can empower us and allow us to discover who we are and the kind of person we want to spend the rest of our life with, instead of seeing it as a “dirty” thing, like many other cultures see it as. Because of the view of sex in the Kreung tribe and the openness and acceptance regarding sex, rape and domestic violence, as well as divorce, are very uncommon in this area (National Geographic).

In our society, it seems like it is more acceptable for men to have and enjoy sex than women, and that sex is “dirty” or “wrong.” Female sexuality should be more accepted for many reasons. The most important reason is pretty clear: Women bring life into this world by having sex and giving birth, so it makes absolutely no sense that women should not enjoy sex. Many people believe that women should have sex only to get pregnant, and otherwise, it’s not okay, but that should not be the case. Sex and the right to enjoy sex is a right that women should enjoy, not a privilege that only men get to experience. If in order to bring life into the world women must endure the challenge of pregnancy and labor, then women should also be able to enjoy the pleasures and wonders of a healthy sexual relationship.

The media is partly what gives America such a twisted view on sex. On television shows, movies, and even on the news, graphic images of war and violence are shown over and over on public television, but images that display sex, childbirth, or the human body are censored and blurred out. As a result, war is shown to be a necessity of life that we must all be exposed to, but sex is not. The fact that war is accepted more than sex is in America makes no sense. Sex brings pleasure and life in to the world, whereas war brings nothing but pain and death.

The negative view of women and sex brings a lot of problems into the world. For example, because many people in America still see women as sex objects for men, many females deal with low self-esteem and stay in relationships that do not make them happy. Because a woman’s attractiveness is portrayed as being her most important feature, young women develop eating disorders and go on crash diets so they can be as “attractive” to their male counterparts as possible. Instead of the once popular and much more natural “hour-glass figure” being the ideal female body shape, the media and society stresses the now popular “V-shaped” figure. Instead of proportionally large breasts and hips found on an “hour-glass figure”, the “V-shaped” figure has large breasts but small hips and a small butt. This figure does not come naturally to most women, so many get implants in their breasts so that they can conform to this new view of what a “sexy” woman should look like.

The media’s way of objectifying women expands to a much more serious issue. Not only does the media teach women that they should be as small and attractive as possible, but women’s bodies are also used to sell products. For example, I recently saw an advertisement for a BBQ burger at Carl’s Junior that featured two attractive women barbequing in skimpy outfits, with close-ups on their breasts, stomachs, and butts. This commercial showed two men staring at the two women while the women were sexually feeding each other the burger. 

This commercial compares women to pieces of meat like the burgers and this comparison is used this to sell this product. There are many more cases of this, where nearly naked women are used to sell anything from cell phones to cars. In fact, the media even glorifies and sexualizes rape in television shows and in advertisements, such as in an infamous Dolce & Gabbana advertisement. This advertisement shows a nearly naked woman being pinned down on the ground by a muscular man, while other men stand around and watch. This ad is clearly sexualizing violence against women, more specifically gang rape, and using it as a way to sell clothing.

The popular idea that women are sexual objects that have been put on Earth only to satisfy men’s needs leads to sex as being seen as a way for men to control women. Because many see sex as “bad,” and not as something women should enjoy, some men even go as far as to rape women in order to “punish” them if the man is angry or because the woman was dressing like a “slut” and was “asking for it.” If society had a more accepting and positive view of sex, this would not happen as often. Just the fact that one out of every six women is sexually assaulted in America and that there have been 17.7 million women who have been sexually assaulted shows that American society needs to focus on creating a more positive view of sex (RAINN).

            In order to help both men and women understand that there is nothing “dirty” or “wrong” with sex and that teens shouldn’t feel pressured to have sex in order to be “cool,” we should give children better sex education, starting from an early age. For example, in the Netherlands, sex education starts when children have yet to reach puberty. Instead of teaching abstinence but giving students condoms “just in case” as we do in the United States, sex education in the Netherlands “comes from an understanding that young people are curious about sexuality and that they need, want and have a right to accurate and comprehensive information about sexual health […] Young people have the right to adequate sex education so that they can make well-informed choices in sexuality and relationships” (Rutgers WPF). These sex education courses teach students that it is alright if they have sex, but to make sure they do it safely. Because of the way sex is viewed in the Netherlands, there is a very low teen pregnancy rate. In fact, the United States had a pregnancy rate four times as high (Advocates For Youth).

The notion that sex is bad and that women should not enjoy it for themselves even though men can enjoy it should not be the view society has about women and sexuality. And especially now that there is such a huge issue with whether or not insurance should cover birth control and whether or not abortion should stay legal, I feel like my body and my fate is being put into the hands of a mostly male government that does not care about me and what I want to do with my own body. I don’t know if I want to have children one day, but I know that I should not feel like I have to, and I know I should not have to feel like I am subject to what a man wants me to be, or what anyone else wants me to be either. I want to live in a society where children, both female and male, are taught that they don’t have to have sex or get married or have children, but if they want to, then that is wonderful because that’s their choice.

Works Cited

"Adolescent Sexual Health in Europe and the US." Adolescent Sexual Health in Europe and the US. N.p., Mar. 2011. Web. 22 Sept. 2012. <http://advocatesforyouth.org/publications/publications-a-z/419?task=view>.

Goodenough, Tom. "Cambodian Fathers Build Sex Huts for Their Nine to 13-year-old Daughters." Mail Online. N.p., 16 July 2012. Web. 22 Sept. 2012. <http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2174389/Cambodian-fathers-build-sex-huts-13-year-old-daughters.html>.

RAINN | Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network" . N.p., n.d. Web. 22 Sept. 2012. <http://www.rainn.org/>.

"Sexuality Education in the Netherlands." RutgersWPF. N.p., n.d. Web. 22 Sept. 2012. <http://www.rutgerswpf.org/content/sexuality-education-in-the-netherlands>.

"Teenage Sex." Taboo. National Geographic Channel. NGC, 8 July 2012. Television.